When your family member is diagnosed with cancer: What to know
It might be one of the scariest words in the English language. It's cancer - and when you, your spouse, parent or child is diagnosed with it, everyone's world turns upside down. Family members want to support their loved one, but may not know how. A feeling of helplessness or panic often takes hold.
The single most important thing to understand about cancer is that it can be beaten. Amazing advances in cancer treatments mean millions of people are now living with no evidence of disease. And, many others are living long productive years having their cancer managed and controlled like other chronic illnesses.
"Another major medical breakthrough is that families, patients and the medical community are much more open in talking about cancer," says
Alan Weinstein, MD, medical director of the Fox Chase Cancer Center at Virtua Memorial Hospital Burlington County. "We encourage people to speak with their doctors, ask questions, and get the answers they need to help and support their loved ones and themselves."
Take charge by asking questions
Keep a careful notebook
Consider the source
Lean on someone
The most critical decision
Take charge by asking questions
- Step one is to learn as much as possible as quickly as possible. This helps alleviate unfounded fears and provides a basis for informed decisions.
- Acquire details about the type of cancer the person has since cancer is many diseases, not just one.
- Find out about the size of the tumor and how this affects treatment options.
- Ask if the tumor has or is likely to metastasize or spread and to which parts of the body.
- Learn about treatment options and have the doctor outline the advantages and disadvantages of each.
- Ask about side effects and remedies to alleviate them.
- Investigate the availability of clinical trials. "Everyone who is eligible should have access to clinical trials," says Dr. Weinstein, who is board certified in oncology. "It is important to understand, however, that clinical trials are primarily for research and have stringent entrance criteria."
- Explore getting a second opinion. "This will validate the original opinion or provide alternatives," says Dr. Weinstein, who has written extensively about brain tumors. Serious illnesses such as cancer frequently warrant another viewpoint before a treatment decision is made. People should never feel as though they are being disloyal to their physician for obtaining one. After all, these are critical decisions that the patient and family alone ultimately must make. Fox Chase Cancer Center at Virtua Memorial offers a second opinion service to all cancer patients. It is staffed by a team of physicians from Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia.
Keep a careful notebook
The impact of cancer is broader than the diagnosis. Suddenly, people are thrust into a whirl of doctors' appointments, tests, treatments and medical terms that are often hard to understand. "Things can get confusing," Terry Fazio, MSN, a certified oncology nurse and educator at Virtua Health, says. Fazio stresses that it is important to be organized and suggests keeping a notebook. "Bring it to each visit," says Fazio. "Information that doesn't seem important at the time it's given could be invaluable later. Keep track of everything, including appointments, tests, therapies, insurance information, and questions to ask the doctor."
Consider the source
While some people turn to the Internet for medical information, it's essential to use only accredited sites to avoid misleading or false information. Dr. Weinstein warns:
"Every person's cancer is unique, with its own histology (cell structure and function) and prognosis among many other factors." Information on the Internet tends to be general or at worst inaccurate. This is not to say that the web should be avoided. Visit credible sites such as the National Cancer Institute and the American Cancer Society. Another resource is hospital sites that are reviewed by physicians, such as www.virtua.org.
Lean on someone
"People with cancer respond much better to treatment when they have strong family support," says Dr. Weinstein. He encourages families to try and function as normally as possible. Fazio suggests that family members spend less time dwelling on the illness and concentrate more on spending quality time together. It is also very important for family members to keep a positive attitude and a hopeful outlook.
"Support groups also offer a powerful network of information and sense of connection for people with cancer and their families," notes Virtua social worker Marietta Penska, MSW. Virtua offers a range of support groups and education programs. For a complete list of these programs or for a fact sheet about clinical trials, call 1-888-Virtua-3.
The most critical decision
A cancer diagnosis brings the confusion and responsibility of selecting a treatment program. "It's important for patients and families to feel comfortable with their physicians, nurses and other staff as well as with the range and level of services offered," says
Ashok Bapat, MD, board certified director of medical oncology for the Virtua West Jersey cancer program. Virtua's staff approaches each patient with compassion and determination, combining sophisticated treatment with personalized care. Each patient receives an individualized treatment plan coupled with a coordinated program of diagnostic and treatment approaches including clinical trials. There's a second opinion service, supportive and rehabilitative care, nutritional counseling, social services, home care, pastoral care, support groups, community education, and detection screenings.