Grow good behavior with "time-ins"
We all know about time-outs: sending a child to his room or removing him from enjoyable people or activities. But how well do we practice “time-ins,” which help to reinforce good behaviors? Try to produce more time-ins than time-outs for your child. Here are some ways to give time-ins.
Snuggle. Be generous with your hugs. Sit close to your child while reading or coloring together.
Give compliments. Tell your child how glad you are that he’s in the family … how well he shared … how hard he worked on something. Praise his efforts and tell him that you love him.
Make the most of quality time. Set aside “special time” for your child and make the most of it. Hang out without making demands or giving advice. Let your child choose an activity for you to do together: play catch, take a walk, play board games, go window shopping, bake cookies. These bits and pieces of time are often what children remember most.
Show interest. Find out what your child is thinking or doing during pretend play. Ask about hopes and dreams. Attend sporting events. Be available to listen without always being the “answer person.” Ask questions that provoke conversation: “What was the best/worst thing that happened today?”
Give unexpected, thoughtful gifts. Give gifts that convey, “I was thinking about you.” Try a funny greeting card or a little note in the lunchbox. Look for ways to connect with your child (without spending a lot of money).