no more guilt

No More Guilt: You ARE a Breastfeeding Mother

I came across a quote the other day that pertains to many of the mothers I speak with daily.

“Breastfeeding doesn’t have to be all or nothing for it to still be valuable.” 
(author unknown)

Whether it is during support groups, private appointments, or in a social setting, I often hear moms say they are “not really breastfeeding”—meaning they also pump, use donor milk, supplement with formula, and so on. Statements like this make me sad, especially since the mothers usually sound guilty, defeated, or disappointed. 

In motherhood, as in life, things are seldom all or nothing. Even though we know that putting the baby to the breast is the most efficient way to provide the right amount of milk, breastfeeding does not have to be exclusive in order to “count.”

A few years ago, a mother told me she felt judged at times for feeding her baby a bottle, even if the bottle contained expressed milk. We all know being a new mom can be challenging, so we need to support one another and not pass judgment. After all, everyone’s circumstances are different. Think of the NICU mother striving for a pumping schedule, or the working mom attempting to maintain a supply of milk, or the mom whose infant has health issues that make it near impossible to latch—no two situations are quite the same.

I tell my patients: find your own stride. Do what you need to do to make both you and baby happy and healthy. Let go of what you feel it has to be and make the most of what you have.

Some breast-milk is better than none. No matter the amount, frequency, or method, it is still breastfeeding.  So don’t be down on yourself; you are a breastfeeding mother.

Updated October 20, 2016

navigator access center

Contact Virtua

A Personal Health Navigator can help you find a doctor, schedule appointments or classes, and help you find a service or location.

888-VIRTUA-3 Live Chat

You may also like

Breastfeeding Basics

Say It Isn’t So: The Myths & Misconceptions of Breastfeeding

New moms are bombarded with information about breastfeeding. To help sort the facts from the fiction, we went to Virtua lactation consultant Nicole Kekesi.

Read More
returning to work

16 Tips for Returning to Work While Breastfeeding

Planning ahead for your return to work while breastfeeding can help ease the transition.

Read More
Breastfeeding

Finding Support for Your Perfectly Imperfect Breastfeeding Journey

I remember the first week after I brought my newborn son home from the hospital. Reruns played in the background as I desperately tried to get my baby to nurse.

Read More