Caregiving During the Holidays: Ways to Manage Stress and Find Joy
Feeling overwhelmed? Discover practical tips for caregiving during the holidays. Learn to manage stress, adjust traditions, and find presence over perfection.
By Mary Campagnolo, MD, Family Medicine, Virtua Primary Care
Winter holidays are meant to be a time of togetherness and celebration. If you're caring for a chronically ill older relative, you might see the holidays as a source of stress in your life. But it doesn't have to be that way.
By shifting your perspective and seeking support from others, you can still enjoy the holiday season, even if it requires changing your traditions.Strategies for reducing caregiver stress
Downsize celebrations and adjust expectations
In the past, family celebrations might have been elaborate events that took weeks of thorough preparation. But being together is what's truly important this time of year, more than extravagant feasts or rooms filled with handmade decorations.
Now might be a good time to adjust your expectations for this year's holidays. Think about what's reasonable for you to accomplish over the next few weeks, and don't plan for much more than that. In fact, you might find that a small, intimate gathering is more meaningful than a party packed with everyone you know, as these can become overwhelming even when it's not a holiday.
Embrace shortcuts and outsource tasks
Take advantage of shortcuts, prepared foods, or a friend's offer to share cooking. Think about what you might outsource and what you prefer to handle yourself. Choose your signature, favorite, or most meaningful dish to make or create yourself, then share, purchase, or let others assist with the rest of the holiday meals.
Modify traditions to include your loved one
If cooking is an enjoyable or meaningful part of your tradition, stick with it. Invite your relative to join you in making it a shared, enjoyable experience. Perhaps your loved one could assist with mixing batter, decorating cookies, sifting, or measuring ingredients.
Allow time for rest and relaxation
Understand that loved ones with chronic conditions may not have the same energy and endurance for the holidays as they used to. Allow them extra time to rest during the day and avoid keeping them awake past their usual bedtime.
Prioritize presence over presents
You can play your favorite holiday music, reminisce, trim the tree, make garlands, or wrap presents together. Sharing a fun activity brings you closer together and shifts the focus from illness-related tasks and problem-solving.
Honor and remember loved ones who have passed away
Celebrate the memories of your cherished loved ones during the holidays. Use this special time to honor their remarkable qualities and the positive impact they made in your lives and community, keeping their spirit alive in your hearts.
The bottom line: focus on togetherness
When preparing for parties or dinners, stay present in the moment. You're still together as a family to enjoy the holiday season. Take time to express gratitude, savor the moments, and focus on what's truly important in your relationships. Make a conscious choice to make this holiday season the best it can be, even if you don't have time or energy for perfect or elaborate celebrations.
There's So Much More to Explore
