By Elizabeth Kusturiss, MSN, CRNP, Women's Health Nurse Practitioner, Virtua Sexual Wellness and Pelvic Health 

From movie scenes to song lyrics to advertising, we’re inundated with images of couples who seem eager for sex, anytime, anywhere. This is one of the biggest myths in our society—that a consistently strong sexual desire is the norm in a loving relationship. It can lead people to believe there’s something wrong with them if they’re not interested in sex.

The truth is that decreased sexual desire, or low libido, is much more common than society suggests. Most women experience lower desire at some point in their lives, but due to embarrassment, many avoid discussing it with a healthcare professional.  

Why should you talk to an expert about low libido?

Studies indicate that decreased sexual desire can negatively affect body image, self-confidence, self-worth, relationships, and overall quality of life. Low sexual desire has also been associated with psychological and emotional distress.

While it’s normal to experience fluctuations in sex drive, a chronic or distressing lack of interest may be a sign of a hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), which is very treatable.

What causes hypoactive sexual desire disorder?

A woman’s libido is complex, and the diagnosis of HSDD can stem from a variety of biological or psychosocial factors, including:

• Everyday life stressors
• Body image concerns
• Relationship quality
• Painful medical conditions
• Fatigue
• Depression

Complicating matters, sexual desire differs for women compared to men. This can include:

• The mind-body connection during sex
• Interpersonal factors, such as relationship troubles or lack of emotional intimacy
• Concerns about privacy and safety
• A history of trauma or negative emotions like shame, fear, or guilt related to sex
• Past experiences with disappointing or painful sex

But it’s not merely a mental issue—decreased sex hormones due to menopause, fatigue, or illness can also take a toll. Common medications, from antidepressants to antihistamines, and oral contraceptives to cholesterol meds, can reduce a woman’s sexual desire.

What’s a normal sexual response?

There’s no “one size fits all” approach to sexual response. However, gaining a better understanding of female anatomy and orgasm can help you overcome feelings of being “abnormal.”

You may experience a single intense orgasm during sex or sexual play, while another woman may have multiple orgasms that are less intense. Both experiences are completely normal. Understanding adequate sexual stimulation—and the effects of age-related changes in sexual desire at various life stages—can unlock new opportunities to have a healthy sex life.

Personalized treatment for hypoactive sexual desire disorder

Treatment begins with communication and education. At Virtua Sexual Wellness and Pelvic Health, we collaborate with patients to address emotional factors in their relationships. Psychotherapy or couples sex therapy can be beneficial to modify existing thoughts, behaviors, or emotions, or to improve communication between partners.

We make it easy to talk about and learn how to add sexual aids or toys that may also improve your sex drive. Clitoral stimulators or vibrators can enhance your arousal, and topical feminine massage oil or compounds can increase blood flow and genital nerve sensitivity.

Specific nutritional supplements, traditional or bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, or anti-anxiety medications like buspirone may help increase your sex drive. Additionally, two medications are available specifically for women with HSDD: Addyi (flibanserin) and Vyleesi (bremelanotide). Systemic testosterone has also been shown to increase desire in women who are peri- and post-menopausal, though it's not FDA approved at this time.

Sometimes, a medication you take for another condition can influence your libido. In that case, we'll consider replacing it with medications that don't affect it, if available.

With so many life-changing treatment options to improve your sex drive, you shouldn't struggle in silence. A sexual dysfunction specialist can work with you to identify the root cause and develop a tailored treatment plan. No matter which treatment path you choose, you can experience tremendous relief in having a supportive space to express your concerns and make positive changes to your libido.

Virtua experts are here to help you improve your sex drive

We understand that sexual dysfunction influences both physical and emotional health and, fortunately, most cases are treatable. Our goal is to help you restore your sexual well-being, as this can profoundly improve your relationships, self-esteem, and overall quality of life.

Schedule an appointment at Virtua Sexual Wellness and Pelvic Health or call 856-247-7435.