Elizabeth Kusturiss, APN, Virtua Sexual Wellness & Pelvic Health

Some questions are for your group chat. Others… you keep to yourself. Until now. Because when it comes to sexual wellness, there are no ‘weird’ questions — just ones we’ve been taught to avoid. From awkward ‘is this normal?’ moments to myths that refuse to go away, we’re tackling the topics most people hesitate to bring up at brunch.

Think of this as your judgment-free zone: part science, part real talk, and all about giving you the answers you’ve been too shy to ask.

Sexual Health FAQs

Can I get pregnant if…?

(…we didn’t, you know, “finish” / it was only once / I’m on my period?)

Short answer: Yes, it’s possible. Sperm are persistent little overachievers and can live inside the body for up to five days. Withdrawal isn’t foolproof, and menstrual cycles vary — meaning ovulation can still sneak up on you. If avoiding pregnancy is your goal, reliable birth control (and condoms for STI protection) is your safest bet.

Is it normal for my body to make weird sounds during sex?

Yes! Air can get trapped in the vagina or the body just responds with pops, groans, and squeaks. It’s not a sign of something wrong — just anatomy doing its thing. If anything, it’s proof you’re relaxed and things are moving.

Why does sex hurt?

Occasional discomfort happens (position, dryness, tension), but consistent pain isn’t something to ignore. It can be linked to conditions like endometriosis, pelvic floor dysfunction, or vulvar conditions. If pain is part of your regular experience, talk to a health professional — you deserve pleasure without pain.

How much sex is “normal”?

That’s a trick question because there is no “normal.” Some couples thrive with daily intimacy, others with monthly. What matters is that both partners feel satisfied and connected. If there’s a mismatch in desire, that’s a conversation worth having, not a measure of who’s “right.”

Can birth control affect my sex drive?

Yes. Hormonal birth control can sometimes change libido — for some people it increases desire, for others it lowers it. Everyone’s body responds differently, so if you notice a change that bothers you, talk to your provider about alternative options.

Is vaginal discharge normal?

Yes — in fact, it’s your body’s way of cleaning and maintaining a healthy environment. Normal discharge is usually clear or white and changes throughout your cycle.

Can lube cause irritation?

Sometimes. Some people react to ingredients like glycerin, parabens, or added flavors/scents. Many lubricants found at your local pharmacy have a high pH, which can also contribute toward irritation or infections. If you notice itching or burning after use, try switching formulas (like silicone-based or hypoallergenic). Pro tip: using coconut oil or extra virgin olive oil can cook up some excitement in the bedroom! Not only are they safe to use for lubrication, but they can also double as a soothing ointment for women with sensitive skin.

Is it normal to have a low (or high) sex drive?

Absolutely. Libido naturally varies from person to person and can shift over time with stress, sleep, hormones, medications, age, childbirth or even with relationship dynamics. Some people have higher sex drives, others lower, and both are perfectly normal. What matters most is whether your level of desire feels right for you. If sudden changes cause concern or tension, checking in with a health professional can help.

I can’t orgasm with only penetration. Is that normal?

Only 5% of women can orgasm via penetration alone. So, if you need clitoral stimulation to get you there, you are in the majority… and it is perfectly normal.

Is it normal that it takes me so long to orgasm?

The average woman requires 15-45 minutes of stimulation to reach orgasm. There is no reason to feel ashamed or embarrassed if you require extra time. Every body is different, and pleasure is not a race. Enjoy it.

Why do I cry after sex?

It’s called postcoital dysphoria, and it can be triggered by hormones, emotional release, or even stress relief after intimacy. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with your relationship or your body.

Why do I bleed after sex?

Bleeding after sex can be unsettling, but it’s fairly common and usually has a simple explanation. Minor causes include vaginal dryness, small tears, or friction, especially if there wasn’t enough lubrication. Sometimes it’s related to hormonal changes, cervical irritation, or infections. In most cases, occasional light spotting isn’t a cause for alarm, but if the bleeding is heavy, happens often, or comes with pain, it’s a good idea to check in with a health professional to rule out conditions like fibroids, polyps, or other underlying concerns.

Your Sexual Health is Important — and We’re Here for You

Sex should be enjoyable, comfortable, and empowering — not something clouded by pain, worry, or unanswered questions. If you’re experiencing concerns like pelvic pain, decreased desire, or other issues affecting intimacy, you don’t have to navigate them alone.

At Virtua Sexual Wellness & Pelvic Health, we offer compassionate, specialized care for women, taking a holistic approach to uncover the root of your symptoms and help you feel like yourself again. Because when it comes to sexual wellness, you deserve answers, support, and the freedom to fully enjoy this part of your life.

Get the conversation started today!